I am not responsible for your pain (2024) | Short Film

Indexed: 2026-05-18

[00:00:30]So, what do you want to speak about, Jenny? Is everything okay?

[00:00:33]>> No. Um, no, it's nothing serious.

[00:00:37]Nobody's in trouble.

[00:00:39]>> So, what do you want to speak about?

[00:00:42]Hello.

[00:01:10]I' I've been trying to figure myself out this past little while, you know, and um I'm learning new ways of thinking at Varsity and I was with [ __ ] for a while and that was >> So you and Abu broke up.

[00:01:22]>> Just did.

[00:01:24]>> Yeah, >> that's a pity. She was a really good girl for you.

[00:01:28]>> I don't know. I I felt like I couldn't be myself with her, you know?

[00:01:33]>> That's a shame. What happened? Why didn't you tell me?

[00:01:38]>> I don't know. I I I didn't want to.

[00:01:42]Okay, look, the reason I called us here today is because I Well, I know I like girls, but I I also think I like boys.

[00:01:56]>> Oh, I don't understand.

[00:01:58]I'm >> I'm bisexual. I'm pretty sure.

[00:02:02]>> So, you don't like guys?

[00:02:02]>> No, I I do. I was with [ __ ] for a while.

[00:02:05]>> So, you don't like boys?

[00:02:06]>> No, I do. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

[00:02:09]>> So, you're gay?

[00:02:10]>> No. Do I look like I'm gay?

[00:02:14]>> Why do you never have me over when your mom's around?

[00:02:23]>> Don't hate me.

[00:02:25]>> What? I want to ask something but not like in a crazy way or anything.

[00:02:30]>> Okay. What are you also feeling something deeper or is this just a fling to you?

[00:02:44]>> Don't Don't ask me that.

[00:02:51]>> You're still special to me.

[00:02:52]>> We don't have the same idea of special.

[00:02:56]Why do you always have to be like this?

[00:02:57]>> Like what?

[00:03:00]>> Like a [ __ ] [ __ ] >> And what is that supposed to mean?

[00:03:02]>> You're being [ __ ] sensitive and touchy and passive aggressive and [ __ ] >> Oh, cuz you're some kind of macho man, aren't you? Making out with a boy when no one can see you.

[00:03:13]Real [ __ ] man. The real [ __ ] macho junior.

[00:03:17]>> Not a [ __ ] macho man or whatever the [ __ ] but I'm not a [ __ ] like you.

[00:03:22]Okay. acting like you're my [ __ ] girlfriend.

[00:03:42]You're full of [ __ ] And who are you hiding from? Hm. Your mom.

[00:03:50]>> You're not floating anymore.

[00:04:01]So, you're gay?

[00:04:03]>> No, Mom. You You make it sound like some sort of disease.

[00:04:07]>> I'm trying to understand, Jania. I don't know much about these things, but I'm hearing you.

[00:04:14]>> Doesn't feel like it.

[00:04:15]>> Listen, let me share with you a story about when I was your age.

[00:04:20]I lived on the same street next to a young man who was quite different, queer actually. Um, and everybody knew that.

[00:04:31]Um, he was very smart, very stylish.

[00:04:36]He took me to the clubs. He taught me how to play pool. He introduced me to all his friends. We were really cool together, but it wasn't safe. And some guys, they just took it to the next level. I think they were jealous maybe because he was surrounded by girls all the time. And um it got bad. And Cosmo, he got really hurt.

[00:05:13]They hurt him very badly, Jenny. And you'd think it was a long time ago, but change it doesn't come easily.

[00:05:20]It takes time. And so you must understand, Junior, I love you, my angel. And thank you for having the courage to share this with me and to be honest with me. But this world is not kind to people like you, to people that are different. I hope you understand this. Not in South Africa. Not yet.

[00:05:38]Don't put yourself in the spotlight.

[00:06:12]How? How many pills is it going to take to pave the way? Twice a dark day on my knees. Forgot the words to pray. I stuff. Look up to the heavens to see past the sky. No repenting levels. Fog years go by. I wanted more from the world from the source. Feel like Daniel in the cage hearing ros two three behind me. Feel like David in New York. Need more than ice cubes. [ __ ] I'm swimming with the orcers. Still hearing sirens.

[00:06:39]Tell me walk the plank and swim to shore.

[00:06:42]But we don't do that. God is a cap. I'm in a fight with God. He don't want me to rap. My heart's turning black. So I wrap up my injuries and ke I rush in during the woke me off. Hushes go around the coliseum. Roses toss. I drop the cloth from my shoulders and reveal the scars.

[00:07:05]The world is ours. I say to the fruits of broken hearts. I break my fast and pray for rain to fall instead of bombs.

[00:07:11]The world's my mask. Every foot I step is a chance to start. Believe in a god will be through the stars. Believe in a god or swim with the sharks. Morning the past. I reap what I pl. I for my new thread and preach Ramadan.

[00:07:28]I'm humble. I starve. If I pray for